Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
