It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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