You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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