The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She told me I should be a condom model.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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