just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize