Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
