Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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