I think i sorta joined a cult last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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