who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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