My room smells like vodka and shame
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Randomize
