I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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