this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
