I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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