wake up i wanna do it froggy style
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
