Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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