is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
