she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
