just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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