WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize