sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
nutella sex= disaster
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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