the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
