Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
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I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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