he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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