Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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