i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
