If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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