That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize