yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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