Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
