jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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