people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
