He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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