We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
