Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
