My nipple is on Facebook.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
