FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
