can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
