We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
