I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
