hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
jump out the window naked night went bad
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