I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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