just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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