Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
