Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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