well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
