yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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