Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.