Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.