I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there was a trapeze. enough said
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again