I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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