..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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