just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
time to smoke my breakfast
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
