If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
