i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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