I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
