she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
