my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
