we're blogging at a bar
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
