I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
