Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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