capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
