I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
