I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
