She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize