I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
