Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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