i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
